45

Almost there

What does that mean

I’m not where I

Thought I’d be

I did not expect

A suicide attempt

One or more

Rehabilitation stays

Jobs upon jobs

Figuring out

Who I am

Who I’m supposed to be

Fired for the first time

In my many pursuits

Am I stopping myself

Am I in my own way?

I don’t feel okay

I don’t feel right

I don’t know what’s going on

I don’t know what mask to don

I act

I apply

I try so hard

I’m lost in myself

I’m wrong for the part

The position, the role

I try so hard

I’m still the black swan

I won’t give up

Figuring out

Who I am

Not put on a shelf

Like a book

Or a journal

With words

Or none

I will

Find out

Who I am

For once and for all

I will write

I will sing

I will be with myself

One on one

The heartbreak

The tears, and pain

Are all I am and

I will not fall

I will over come

I will pursue

I will love again

I will continue to hope

For more than I am

For more than I can be

For all that I want

For all that is to be

I want for more

I need to be

One who lives

One who can cope

To be

To be

To be

The truest me

BW’24

Emily

I want so much to feel

To see what you have seen

The life that now seem so unreal

Oh what could have been

Your words were tender

Your words were fierce

The words you would reneder

The heart you could pierce

Emily my cousin

Several times removed

We are joined by crimson

Even if unproved

Your words echo in me

Your writing in my veins

I know that you can see in me

You are what remains

-BW’24

Dating Ugh

Dating in your 40s

Why is it so hard?

No magically falling in love

As written by the Bard

Too mature and done

With meeting at the bars

Having now to deal with

One another’s scars

What is it that one

Is looking for

Someone who gives you that look

That you’re the one they adore

A man with children

That you will love

A family that

Fits you like a glove

No one who has

Too much drama with their ex

Someone who isn’t

Just looking for sex

Someone who genuinely

Has no doubt

About getting to know

What you are really about

Can you match

With who I am

Will you get to know me

Will you give a damn

Dating

There comes a time

In one’s life

Where being alone

Is a choice

Then you get

To the point

You really want

To meet “the one”

So what is

The approach

Where you can

Express your real voice

Can you show them

Who you really are

Or are will your work

Be completely undone

Will they accept you

Flaws and all

Will you meet your match

Celebrate and rejoice

Someone really sees you

Loves you for who you are

Knows and loves your flaws

Because you are their one

Fentanyl Roulette

Wanting to experiment

Just a typical teen

Took a Perc one day

The last day he’d be clean

•••

At a party one night

Took a single drag

Didn’t know he’d be leaving

In a body bag

•••

Laying on the floor

Her body was on fire

Narcan stopped the overdose

Didn’t end the desire

•••

Kids are playing roulette

One pill lets them sleep

Sleep that never ends

Now they’re six feet deep

•••

-BW 2022