I am a writer. Therefore, I am not sane. -Edgar Allan Poe
I gave you my best
Whatever that means
I don’t have anything left to give
I gave you my best
The love
I knew how to give
What happens
Now that
You’re gone
I have nothing
Left to give
I’m empty
I gave you my best
What is left of me
Nothing
If anyone comes
Around me now
There is nothing left
I gave you my best
I gave you all I had
I gave you my best
Do you still think of me
Twenty-some years later
Am I alone in my thoughts
My memories of the good
And the bad
So many firsts
That new love brings
As we grow older
The firsts are not the same
Innocence has been lost
Passion fades
Life has made us hard
Accepting new love
New lovers
New desires
No longer easy to come by
I long for the earlier days
When love was in abundance
I think of you
Do you think of me
Do you really care
Or are you feeling like
It compulsory
It’s ok
To not want
To be around me
My sadness
My mess
I’m used to those
Who leave
I’m used to those
Who can’t handle it
It’s scary
And it’s sad
How do people
Live like this
A mess surrounding them
What is this they/I
Am living in
How can they go on
I’m telling you
It’s not easy
But I manage
For now
How much
Do I
Want to say
Please help me
I’m drowning
In this mess
I’ve made
But I’m ashamed
For you to see
What I have become
I’m so tired
Of feeling this way
Please help me
Find a way
A way out of
This mess
A way out of
Me
I want to be
Happy again
I want to be free
I want to
Live a life
A life
Normally
Listen to me
Hear my words
Words of pain
I cry to you
I feel
I feel pain
I feel loss
I feel despair
I don’t need you to fix me
Just listen
Just hear
I am lost
I am searching
Who am I
Just listen
You made your decision
I may not understand why
But I forgive you
Whatever happens
You are my blood
You are my community
You are my country
I will continue to hope
I will continue to fight
To protect all that we are
All that we can be
You are my
Brothers and sisters
I love you
I hold you in my heart
I fight for you
I forgive you
If you know someone
Who is living
In a different place
Than the place you are today
Open your eyes
Open you heart
And listen
To what they have to say
They see the pain
They see the war
They see the hurt
We feel each day
What can we do
But vote
And fight
And eventually pray
To believe
There is hope
In the world
Either way
They see we
The U.S. struggle
With decisions
We make
Everyday
But hope that we
Can find a way
Can find away
To believe in what we say
All we have
Is our hope
And the love
That which we pray
For
All who need
And want
The help of the USA
One story
Differently told
From various perspectives
Never to be known
Wholly on its own
You give me nothing
I pour my soul into you
I am empty now
Adulthood brings on
So much change
Childhood is gone
Everything is strange
Bills to pay
Mother’s still directing
Not knowing what to say
Constantly deflecting
I can do it myself
Though it’s not expected
Put opinions on the shelf
Need to be respected
Needing family there
If and when you need it
Knowing that they care
But only when it’s heeded
Where do I go
When I’m lost
I’m lost
So lost
I’m not afraid
Just wandering
Newly blind
Wandering
Around and around
I have no guide
Just myself
My thoughts
My feelings
And I’m still lost
Where do I go from here
Do I stop
Stand still
Let life happen
All around me
Or do I accept
That I am on my own
Feeling around
In the dark
Until I can find
The Light
B.A. Wilcox © 