Tag: mental illness

Poetry

Do you really care 

Or are you feeling like

It compulsory 

It’s ok 

To not want

To be around me 

My sadness

My mess

I’m used to those

Who leave

I’m used to those 

Who can’t handle it

It’s scary 

And it’s sad

How do people 

Live like this

A mess surrounding them

What is this they/I

Am living in

How can they go on 

I’m telling you 

It’s not easy

But I manage

For now

How much 

Do I 

Want to say

Please help me

I’m drowning 

In this mess

I’ve made

But I’m ashamed

For you to see

What I have become

I’m so tired 

Of feeling this way 

Please help me 

Find a way

A way out of 

This mess

A way out of

Me

I want to be

Happy again 

I want to be free

I want to 

Live a life

A life 

Normally

Poetry

Looking for the Light

Where do I go 

When I’m lost

I’m lost

So lost

I’m not afraid 

Just wandering

Newly blind

Wandering

Around and around

I have no guide

Just myself

My thoughts

My feelings

And I’m still lost

Where do I go from here

Do I stop

Stand still

Let life happen

All around me

Or do I accept

That I am on my own

Feeling around

In the dark

Until I can find

The Light 

Poetry

Do you feel like 

You are treading water 

Don’t give up

Fight through the pain 

The exhaustion 

Take a deep breath 

Sink if you need

Feel the womb of the ocean 

Comfort you

It’s ok to go under

For a second

Hold your breath

Feel the water envelop you

Then…

Kick those legs

Pull yourself up

Come up for air

Take that breath 

Fight the fatigue

Remember hope

Remember love

Remember life 

I know your tired

It would be so easy

To let go

Sink

Remember home

Remember love

Remember loss

All the things that made you strong

It’s ok to go under

For a second

Hold your breath

Feel the water envelop you

Then…

Kick those legs

Pull yourself up

Come up for air

Take that breath 

Fight the fatigue

Remember hope

Remember love

Remember life

A rescue boat

May never come

You’re on your own 

And that’s okay 

You may feel

Unprepared for what’s ahead

Afraid of the unknown 

Afraid of drowning 

The anchor 

Feels heavy

Around you

Pulling you down 

It’s ok to go under

For a second

Hold your breath

Feel the water envelop you

Then…

Kick those legs

Pull yourself up

Come up for air

Take that breath 

Fight the fatigue

Remember hope

Remember love

Remember life

Fight the current

You can push through 

It’s only water 

It’s only life

It’s painful

But it’s also hope

It’s love

It’s worth it

It’s ok to go under

As long as you 

Kick those legs

Pull yourself up

Come up for air

Take that breath 

Fight the fatigue

Remember hope

Remember love

Remember life

And Breathe

Poetry

The Goodbye Note

Penned in a time of despair

A time loss 

A time that has changed

The receiver never 

Understands why

Such a letter is exchanged

The sender knows

It’s felt in the heart and soul

Never to be interchanged 

Uncategorized

Institutions

Trying institutions

Of the mind and soul

Looking for answers

Test self control 

Go to the groups 

Read all the books

Collect all the coins

Like the best of crooks

Look in the mirror

Affirmations each day

The changes are made

Then go away

Continue to ride

The waves of recovery 

Only to find

Endless discovery

From one to the next

The pages turn

Some to be torn out

Some to burn

The book will continue 

To be written with little control

While moving through the institutions

Of the mind and soul

Poetry

Okay

Life hits one

In an unexpected way

Being a burden is something

One cannot obey

When one feels

Sad and blue

One may write their feelings

True or untrue

Don’t be worried

Don’t be scared

Maybe one only needs

To know someone cares

In a slump

One feels alone

They crave a call

On the phone

Someone to reach out

To tell them they are okay

To tell them life can suck

But they can keep the demons at bay

A deep breath

A silent prayer

One will find themself

Through those who care

One knows it’s selfish

For them to ask

For others to reach out

To take on that task

To let one know

One is not alone

That they too have had

A depression full-blown

In their hearts and minds

They know this is not rare

But sharing their anguish

They may not dare

Together they can

Help relieve the sadness

Together they can

Find a way out of the madness

Together they can

Fight another day

Together they can

Be okay

Poetry

I’m done

I can’t do it anymore

This world

This life

I don’t understand

What am I supposed to learn

All I see is pain

Is fear

Is lying

And death

I want to start over

I want a redo

Does that mean

I am left in this world

At this time

Can I be

A better me

Or will I be

Left in the dark

Nothingness

A dark reminder

That nothing exists

Outside of now

Or do I come back

A fish

A bug

A child who

Has to figure it all out again

Can I start over

Is there a way

To start over

Or is that it

Do I go and see

My Father for the first time

My grandparents

My cousin

All no longer with me

Do I stay

In pain

Lost

In a world

That doesn’t need

Me

Oh they will say

We need you

Life will not be the same

They don’t realize

They are lying

Life goes on

Time ticks away

Maybe they won’t forget

But they will move on

They will continue

Life will continue

Sadness may occur

And will pop up

From time to time

But the sun will rise

The sun will set

Hours will go by

People will smile

And laugh again

People will celebrate

The days to come

Though those days

May be numbered

But

They will have the faith

And the strength

That I no longer possess

Poetry

45

Almost there

What does that mean

I’m not where I

Thought I’d be

I did not expect

A suicide attempt

One or more

Rehabilitation stays

Jobs upon jobs

Figuring out

Who I am

Who I’m supposed to be

Fired for the first time

In my many pursuits

Am I stopping myself

Am I in my own way?

I don’t feel okay

I don’t feel right

I don’t know what’s going on

I don’t know what mask to don

I act

I apply

I try so hard

I’m lost in myself

I’m wrong for the part

The position, the role

I try so hard

I’m still the black swan

I won’t give up

Figuring out

Who I am

Not put on a shelf

Like a book

Or a journal

With words

Or none

I will

Find out

Who I am

For once and for all

I will write

I will sing

I will be with myself

One on one

The heartbreak

The tears, and pain

Are all I am and

I will not fall

I will over come

I will pursue

I will love again

I will continue to hope

For more than I am

For more than I can be

For all that I want

For all that is to be

I want for more

I need to be

One who lives

One who can cope

To be

To be

To be

The truest me

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