At first sight
I have been convicted
Of lacking beauty
Imprisoned to the
Corner of the room
Bled of all confidence
Seeking a reprieve
Just this once
To plead my case
Reveal the whole
Truth of my existence
The beauty
Behind these bars
Tag: friendships
Ever have a normal life
Living with this thing
I never asked for
Ever be loved
With my faults
Not what’s in my core
Ever get to know
What true love is like
With someone I adore
Get to live
A normal life
Will you open the door
Please see who I am
Aside from my faults
See who I am… one you can feel something for
I want to be done
With this life I despair
I want to be done
For you I no longer care
Watching ”Sex in the city” or “Friends” and even at 45 I’m wishing I could have the type of friendships they do. I wonder how many others feel the same way I do.
Am I alone in this? I’ve always thought it would be great to have your neighbors as your friends and your girlfriends/guy-friends as the ones who you’ve had for years. People who know you. Who are there just when you need them and vice versa. People who will call you on your shit no matter what. And who you will love even when they piss you off. Because you all know that no matter what, you are never alone in anything that you do or anything that happens to you. Is that too much to ask for?
I know there are so many of us who feel alone. Who feel like we are lonely wanderers without a tribe. So what do we do? What do I do? I have some friends and I have a couple of people I know I can count on. So why do I want more? I need a community, I think.
Am I selfish? Have I just not figured out how to utilize and be utilized by my friends?
All I know is, loneliness really is a death sentence.
At first sight
I have been convicted
Of lacking beauty
Imprisoned to the
Corner of the room
Bled of all confidence
Seeking a reprieve
Just this once
To plead my case
Reveal the whole
Truth of my existence
The beauty
Behind these bars
The canvas sat bare
As I could not get
My shattering heart to pose
“What’s past is past”
“Forget the past”
“Leave the past behind”
Lies we tell ourselves
To get over love
Control our grief
Box our emotions
Forget
Forget
Forget
~
We cannot lobotomized
Our memories
Our pain
Our grief
We can only live with
Learn from
And never forget
In my dreams last night
Unwanted ghosts of my past
Visited me
Disturbing my slumber
Still lingering once I woke
Haunting me throughout my day
For intangible entities
Their memories continue
Weighing me down
At times we experience
What we believe to be inimitable
Loneliness becomes overwhelming
Until we discover others
Comparably affected
A community formed
As a result of
Compassion and acceptance
Families and friendships form
Loneliness consumed by love
B.A. Wilcox © 