Tag: bipolar

Poetry

Pain or Giving Up

I can feel myself giving up

Then I think about you

Until I don’t 

Until the pain overwhelms me

Snapping the rubber band 

For some pain

It’s not enough

Give me a blade

Just to feel something

See the blood

What is it in me

That craves that pain

I’m sorry I can’t explain 

What it is that drives me to this

Just know

There’s nothing you can do

This is me 

I need the pain

To feel alive

And for now that has to be ok

That has to be enough

An explanation for my pain

The blade feels better

Than the pills

Just painful enough 

To snap out of myself

Snap out of my sadness

It’s a pain

That keeps me from

Giving up

Poetry

Take me or Leave Me

Will they all leave

When they know

When they see 

I’m not all smiles

I’m not sunshine and rainbows 

I hurt

Deeper that most

I didn’t ask for this

I don’t want to be

This version of me

I’m ok

I’m not ok

This is my life

Who wants in

A lonely life

this will be

And though I hate it

I’m resolved to be

Who I am

Where I am

You and me

Or just me

Poetry

Will I

Ever have a normal life

Living with this thing

I never asked for

Ever be loved

With my faults

Not what’s in my core

Ever get to know 

What true love is like

With someone I adore

Get to live

A normal life 

Will you open the door

Please see who I am

Aside from my faults 

See who I am… one you can feel something for

Poetry

Alone

I never knew how alone I was

Until I was alone

No text or calls

No one to reach out to

I will be ok

If I’m gone

They won’t notice

And that’s not on you

I don’t want you to feel sad 

I want you to see me

As someone who was well

But wasn’t as well

I don’t want any mourning

Not over me

Just love for each other

That’s now it should be 

Take care of one another

You are all you have

Don’t mourn for me 

I’m ok where I am

I just can’t be

In this world anymore 

Poetry

That Place

I’m in that place again 

where no one knows how to deal

With my shit

To them isn’t real

I hurt inside

So I hurt myself outside

I don’t expect you to deal

With what I am going through

Something very real

I can’t explain why

I hurt myself so

That it feels right

When I am so low 

I think it helps

I think it’s the way

I will choose and 

Chase the pain away

But in the end

I only feel

A physical pain that is real

A pain that leads

To more pain as I heal

Embarrassed to show my wounds

But also asking others to feel

Something for me

To try and understand

That this is who I will be

I don’t want it to be who I am

But it is what it is

I am me and you are you

I hurt myself

And you keep to you

Poetry

That Place

I’m in that place again 

where no one knows how to deal

With my shit

To them isn’t real

I hurt inside

So I hurt myself outside

I don’t expect you to deal

With what I am going through

Something very real

I can’t explain why

I hurt myself so

Except that it feels right

When I am so low 

I think it helps

I think it’s the way

I will choose and 

Chase the pain away

But in the end

I only feel

A physical pain that is real

A pain that leads

To more pain as I heal

Embarrassed to show my wounds

But also asking others to feel

Something for me

To try and understand

That this is who I will be

I don’t want it to be who I am

But it is what it is

I am me and you are you

I hurt myself

And you keep to you