I am not
My depression
A suicidal little girl
Looking for love
With misery’s face
I am me
I am beautiful
I am alive
I am a writer. Therefore, I am not sane. -Edgar Allan Poe
I am not
My depression
A suicidal little girl
Looking for love
With misery’s face
I am me
I am beautiful
I am alive
I am not
My depression
A suicidal little girl
Looking for love
With misery’s face
I am me
I am beautiful
I am alive
In the dark
Thoughts are spirals
Of chaos
–
Her personal twister
Traps her mind
Pirouetting through the air
–
Where will it land
–
Anywhere but OZ
–
For this dreaming girl
There is no magic
–
Flying monkeys
And witches
Would be a pleasure ride
–
She will not land
In the Emerald Isle
–
No, this Dorothy
Will not land at all
–
The twister has found
Its prize
To keep
My angel
Locked in a cage
Devil’s comin’
Beware his rage
He’ll steal your
Celestial glow
Pluck each wing
Each feather a blow
But the devil don’t know
What he can’t see
Love surrounds
The angel in thee
He’ll pummel
Till black & blue
But he will not take
Your hope from you
Little by little
Battered and bruised
Elements of her body
Her soul
Disappearing
*
Taken and tortured
By Man’s greed
*
Gluttony and bloodshed
Seeping into her pores
Poisoning her
*
She lashes out
Inundated with tears
Wailing and quaking
The flames of her anger
Rage on
*
Man does not
Obey
Her decrees
Heed
Her roars
Her distemper propagates
*
Loss and starvation
Misery and death
Will consume man
*
Allowing her restoration
“What’s past is past”
“Forget the past”
“Leave the past behind”
Lies we tell ourselves
To get over love
Control our grief
Box our emotions
Forget
Forget
Forget
~
We cannot lobotomized
Our memories
Our pain
Our grief
We can only live with
Learn from
And never forget
At times we experience
What we believe to be inimitable
Loneliness becomes overwhelming
Until we discover others
Comparably affected
A community formed
As a result of
Compassion and acceptance
Families and friendships form
Loneliness consumed by love
You repress it
Behind your smile it lurks
In the pit of your stomach
It resides
Growing
An irrepressible contagion
Ascending from the bowels
Disappointment
Infuriation prolonged
Now turned to rage
Misguided resentment
Boiling over
Need for an outlet
You struggle to keep it inside
No, it must be released
Released on me
My spirit
And my body
It must be released
It dissipates
Rage released…
I have forgotten
What longing for another
Feels like
–
A recluse for years
Stuck under
My chosen rock
–
I fear that love
Will continue to
Elude me
Once I return
To humanity
–
That is why
The rock
Has become
My only love