I drink to numb the pain
To chase the pain away
Physical pain
Numbing emotional pain
I drink some more
To numb the pain
The pain I will face tomorrow either way
Tomorrow is another day
Tomorrow I don’t want to
Chase the pain away
I’m in that place again
where no one knows how to deal
With my shit
To them isn’t real
I hurt inside
So I hurt myself outside
I don’t expect you to deal
With what I am going through
Something very real
I can’t explain why
I hurt myself so
That it feels right
When I am so low
I think it helps
I think it’s the way
I will choose and
Chase the pain away
But in the end
I only feel
A physical pain that is real
A pain that leads
To more pain as I heal
Embarrassed to show my wounds
But also asking others to feel
Something for me
To try and understand
That this is who I will be
I don’t want it to be who I am
But it is what it is
I am me and you are you
I hurt myself
And you keep to you
I want to be done
With this life I despair
I want to be done
For you I no longer care
Is it too much to ask
For someone to care
That you’re falling apart
How do you dare
You are the one
They always come to
But when your in need
Who do you look to
You struggle with life
You’re not as perfect as you put on
The mask you wear
Is now faded and long gone
So what do you do
To show them truth
Behind that mask
You are just you
You may not like
The way lines are written
Whether rhyming or not
My words sometimes unwritten
Unit now
I open my heart
I let you in
To the one part
My flesh flayed
For all to see
I have not played
With the emotion I show thee
I am who I am
Nothing I won’t show you
I just asked you one thing
See that I’m true
I never knew how alone I was
Until I was alone
No text or calls
No one to reach out to
I will be ok
If I’m gone
They won’t notice
And that’s not on you
I don’t want you to feel sad
I want you to see me
As someone who was
But wasn’t as well
I don’t want any mourning
Not over me
Just love for each other
That’s now it should be
Take care of one another
You are all you have
Don’t mourn for me
I’m ok where I am
I just can’t be
In this world anymore
Something sweet
And satisfying
Greasy smooth
Quenching that a sweet tooth
We know we shouldn’t eat
But its sweetness calls
Like new love
Something we cannot resist
Like a first love
We know it won’t last
But we have to have it anyway
It may add pounds
Like love adds baggage
There a sweet gooey center
We can’t resist
And like love
We want another
The sweet donut
That allows love to go on
I’m in that place again
where no one knows how to deal
With my shit
To them isn’t real
I hurt inside
So I hurt myself outside
I don’t expect you to deal
With what I am going through
Something very real
I can’t explain why
I hurt myself so
Except that it feels right
When I am so low
I think it helps
I think it’s the way
I will choose and
Chase the pain away
But in the end
I only feel
A physical pain that is real
A pain that leads
To more pain as I heal
Embarrassed to show my wounds
But also asking others to feel
Something for me
To try and understand
That this is who I will be
I don’t want it to be who I am
But it is what it is
I am me and you are you
I hurt myself
And you keep to you
Are you actually telling me the truth
Or is it another scam
Get me into bed
Exploit my insecurities
Take me
Where you want to go
I just want to talk
To get to know you
Are you pretending
Take advantage
I would let you
Even if you are
I’m alone
Thou I want something
But truly something more
Can you be something
Something more
Than a notch on the belt
Just be honest
What do you want
Just so I know
I sleep whenever I can
I dream vividly
But it’s not real
I don’t care
I can sleep
All of the time
Just to be
In that reality
It’s not perfect
But it feels so good
Better than this life
That’s not my own
I don’t even know
Where I belong
Where I should be
Where I can go
I’m so lost
I just want to be
In my dreams
Where I fit
Almost perfectly
B.A. Wilcox © 