Tag: Suicide

Poetry

I’m done

I can’t do it anymore

This world

This life

I don’t understand

What am I supposed to learn

All I see is pain

Is fear

Is lying

And death

I want to start over

I want a redo

Does that mean

I am left in this world

At this time

Can I be

A better me

Or will I be

Left in the dark

Nothingness

A dark reminder

That nothing exists

Outside of now

Or do I come back

A fish

A bug

A child who

Has to figure it all out again

Can I start over

Is there a way

To start over

Or is that it

Do I go and see

My Father for the first time

My grandparents

My cousin

All no longer with me

Do I stay

In pain

Lost

In a world

That doesn’t need

Me

Oh they will say

We need you

Life will not be the same

They don’t realize

They are lying

Life goes on

Time ticks away

Maybe they won’t forget

But they will move on

They will continue

Life will continue

Sadness may occur

And will pop up

From time to time

But the sun will rise

The sun will set

Hours will go by

People will smile

And laugh again

People will celebrate

The days to come

Though those days

May be numbered

But

They will have the faith

And the strength

That I no longer possess

Poetry

45

Almost there

What does that mean

I’m not where I

Thought I’d be

I did not expect

A suicide attempt

One or more

Rehabilitation stays

Jobs upon jobs

Figuring out

Who I am

Who I’m supposed to be

Fired for the first time

In my many pursuits

Am I stopping myself

Am I in my own way?

I don’t feel okay

I don’t feel right

I don’t know what’s going on

I don’t know what mask to don

I act

I apply

I try so hard

I’m lost in myself

I’m wrong for the part

The position, the role

I try so hard

I’m still the black swan

I won’t give up

Figuring out

Who I am

Not put on a shelf

Like a book

Or a journal

With words

Or none

I will

Find out

Who I am

For once and for all

I will write

I will sing

I will be with myself

One on one

The heartbreak

The tears, and pain

Are all I am and

I will not fall

I will over come

I will pursue

I will love again

I will continue to hope

For more than I am

For more than I can be

For all that I want

For all that is to be

I want for more

I need to be

One who lives

One who can cope

To be

To be

To be

The truest me

BW’24

Poetry

Twister

In the dark

Thoughts are spirals

Of chaos

–

Her personal twister

Traps her mind

Pirouetting through the air

–

Where will it land

–

Anywhere but OZ

–

For this dreaming girl

There is no magic

–

Flying monkeys

And witches

Would be a pleasure ride

–

She will not land

In the Emerald Isle

–

No, this Dorothy

Will not land at all

–

The twister has found

Its prize

To keep