45

Almost there

What does that mean

I’m not where I

Thought I’d be

I did not expect

A suicide attempt

One or more

Rehabilitation stays

Jobs upon jobs

Figuring out

Who I am

Who I’m supposed to be

Fired for the first time

In my many pursuits

Am I stopping myself

Am I in my own way?

I don’t feel okay

I don’t feel right

I don’t know what’s going on

I don’t know what mask to don

I act

I apply

I try so hard

I’m lost in myself

I’m wrong for the part

The position, the role

I try so hard

I’m still the black swan

I won’t give up

Figuring out

Who I am

Not put on a shelf

Like a book

Or a journal

With words

Or none

I will

Find out

Who I am

For once and for all

I will write

I will sing

I will be with myself

One on one

The heartbreak

The tears, and pain

Are all I am and

I will not fall

I will over come

I will pursue

I will love again

I will continue to hope

For more than I am

For more than I can be

For all that I want

For all that is to be

I want for more

I need to be

One who lives

One who can cope

To be

To be

To be

The truest me

BW’24

Wings

Born consisting of pure love

Authentic to the core

As years advanced

Purity fading evermore

Saturated with sorrow

Yearning to die

No hope or joy

Pleading “why?”

Craving answers

A private war

Coveting a mental repose

Unexpectedly, an open door

Petition acknowledged

Hope illuminates the ashen sky

Recovery furnishes

The wings to fly