45

Almost there

What does that mean

I’m not where I

Thought I’d be

I did not expect

A suicide attempt

One or more

Rehabilitation stays

Jobs upon jobs

Figuring out

Who I am

Who I’m supposed to be

Fired for the first time

In my many pursuits

Am I stopping myself

Am I in my own way?

I don’t feel okay

I don’t feel right

I don’t know what’s going on

I don’t know what mask to don

I act

I apply

I try so hard

I’m lost in myself

I’m wrong for the part

The position, the role

I try so hard

I’m still the black swan

I won’t give up

Figuring out

Who I am

Not put on a shelf

Like a book

Or a journal

With words

Or none

I will

Find out

Who I am

For once and for all

I will write

I will sing

I will be with myself

One on one

The heartbreak

The tears, and pain

Are all I am and

I will not fall

I will over come

I will pursue

I will love again

I will continue to hope

For more than I am

For more than I can be

For all that I want

For all that is to be

I want for more

I need to be

One who lives

One who can cope

To be

To be

To be

The truest me

BW’24

Twister

In the dark

Thoughts are spirals

Of chaos

Her personal twister

Traps her mind

Pirouetting through the air

Where will it land

Anywhere but OZ

For this dreaming girl

There is no magic

Flying monkeys

And witches

Would be a pleasure ride

She will not land

In the Emerald Isle

No, this Dorothy

Will not land at all

The twister has found

Its prize

To keep

Mother Earth

Little by little

Battered and bruised

Elements of her body

Her soul

Disappearing

*

Taken and tortured

By Man’s greed

*

Gluttony and bloodshed

Seeping into her pores

Poisoning her

*

She lashes out

Inundated with tears

Wailing and quaking

The flames of her anger

Rage on

*

Man does not

Obey

Her decrees

Heed

Her roars

Her distemper propagates

*

Loss and starvation

Misery and death

Will consume man

*

Allowing her restoration

Never Past

“What’s past is past”

“Forget the past”

“Leave the past behind”

Lies we tell ourselves

To get over love

Control our grief

Box our emotions

Forget

Forget

Forget

~

We cannot lobotomized

Our memories

Our pain

Our grief

We can only live with

Learn from

And never forget