Tag: life

Poetry

Truth

Are you actually telling me the truth

Or is it another scam

Get me into bed

Exploit my insecurities

Take me

Where you want to go

I just want to talk

To get to know you

Are you pretending

Take advantage

I would let you

Even if you are

I’m alone 

Thou I want something

But truly something more

Can you be something

Something more 

Than a notch on the belt

Just be honest

What do you want

Just so I know 

Poetry

Sleeping Through Life

I sleep whenever I can

I dream vividly 

But it’s not real

I don’t care

I can sleep 

All of the time 

Just to be

In that reality 

It’s not perfect 

But it feels so good 

Better than this life

That’s not my own

I don’t even know 

Where I belong 

Where I should be

Where I can go 

I’m so lost 

I just want to be

In my dreams 

Where I fit 

Almost perfectly 

Musings

Just a Musing on Life

Watching ”Sex in the city” or “Friends” and even at 45 I’m wishing I could have the type of friendships they do. I wonder how many others feel the same way I do.

Am I alone in this? I’ve always thought it would be great to have your neighbors as your friends and your girlfriends/guy-friends as the ones who you’ve had for years. People who know you. Who are there just when you need them and vice versa. People who will call you on your shit no matter what. And who you will love even when they piss you off. Because you all know that no matter what, you are never alone in anything that you do or anything that happens to you. Is that too much to ask for?

I know there are so many of us who feel alone. Who feel like we are lonely wanderers without a tribe. So what do we do? What do I do? I have some friends and I have a couple of people I know I can count on. So why do I want more? I need a community, I think.

Am I selfish? Have I just not figured out how to utilize and be utilized by my friends?

All I know is, loneliness really is a death sentence.

Poetry

Someone to Light My Spark

I’m dwindling in this life

I have never found

The one

If that exists

I am ok alone

But I would love 

To find someone to

Light my spark

I do have a spark

I cannot light 

On my own 

Though I have tried

So many times

We are not meant 

To be alone

So they tell us

I hope that’s true

I wish for 

Someone who is there

For me

Made specifically 

But deep down 

I know

I may end up alone 

Naked as the day

I came into this world 

Alone

Alone

Without my spark lit

We all want this 

To be true

Someone who is meant

Specifically for you

A fantasy?

Maybe

But I won’t give up

On my spark being lit

Just for me 

Poetry

First Love 

I recall the time

I was wearing the shirt

The one you always remembered

The one with purple flowers

We listened to a band play

A “show” we called it

Back in the day

You put your cap on me

Your blonde hair to your chin

You were beautiful to me

I knew the minute I saw you

I knew you were mine

And I was yours

So young we were 

Full of love

Full of hope

Little did we know 

Youth ends 

First loves end

But you are always on my mind

I always wonder 

If I could have been better

As time has gone on

So many things 

Came to light

I wish I could tell you 

Why I couldn’t 

Give you what you needed

Oh I wish I could have 

I couldn’t tell you

How I was hurt

In my past 

How I was ruined for you 

Oh what I wouldn’t give 

To relive those days 

To do it all over 

Knowing what I know now

You were my first love

You will always have

My heart 

Poetry

My Best

I gave you my best

Whatever that means 

I don’t have anything left to give 

I gave you my best

The love 

I knew how to give 

What happens

Now that 

You’re gone 

I have nothing

Left to give

I’m empty

I gave you my best

What is left of me

Nothing

If anyone comes

Around me now 

There is nothing left

I gave you my best

I gave you all I had

I gave you my best

Poetry

First Love

Do you still think of me

Twenty-some years later 

Am I alone in my thoughts

My memories of the good

And the bad

So many firsts

That new love brings

As we grow older 

The firsts are not the same

Innocence has been lost

Passion fades

Life has made us hard

Accepting new love

New lovers

New desires

No longer easy to come by

I long for the earlier days

When love was in abundance

I think of you

Do you think of me

Poetry

Do you really care 

Or are you feeling like

It compulsory 

It’s ok 

To not want

To be around me 

My sadness

My mess

I’m used to those

Who leave

I’m used to those 

Who can’t handle it

It’s scary 

And it’s sad

How do people 

Live like this

A mess surrounding them

What is this they/I

Am living in

How can they go on 

I’m telling you 

It’s not easy

But I manage

For now

How much 

Do I 

Want to say

Please help me

I’m drowning 

In this mess

I’ve made

But I’m ashamed

For you to see

What I have become

I’m so tired 

Of feeling this way 

Please help me 

Find a way

A way out of 

This mess

A way out of

Me

I want to be

Happy again 

I want to be free

I want to 

Live a life

A life 

Normally

Poetry

I Forgive You

You made your decision

I may not understand why

But I forgive you

Whatever happens

You are my blood

You are my community

You are my country

I will continue to hope

I will continue to fight

To protect all that we are 

All that we can be

You are my 

Brothers and sisters 

I love you

I hold you in my heart

I fight for you

I forgive you