I am a writer. Therefore, I am not sane. -Edgar Allan Poe
It wasn’t after
You destroyed our home
It wasn’t after
Your constant berating
It wasn’t after
You put your hand through the wall
It wasn’t after
I swallowed those pills
–
It wasn’t when
You called the ambulance
It wasn’t when
I was revived
It was when
You finally left
–
It was when
I finally had a moment to think,
About myself
–
It was when
I realized
I could be happy
–
Without you…
Rarely have I heard
Truth in what was spoken to me
–
Like an extinguisher
My flames were doused
By words
Replaced by rage
–
Until I gave in
–
Lovely words
Fraudulent, falsities of a predator
Weakening my stance
Taking away something in me
Replacing love with fear
–
Words… just words
–
Words no longer hold
Complete validity
–
Meaning lies behind actions
–
Love is in the hands,
Holding the heart,
–
Guiding me
Towards the stars
Towards the truth
–
Words the initiator
–
Truth in the words
Propel love’s momentum
A controlled explosion
–
My flames allowed to burn
Unafraid…
–
Because the truth of love
Allows it to be so.
Where do you go when
Your mind is racing
Your thoughts are
Taking you to unfamiliar places.
–
Do you travel to
Distant places where
Reality doesn’t exist
Time and space are a myth
Or does your heart
Pulse with love,
And the once quiet yearning
Finally breaks loose
Does the anger
The sad regret
Seep from your pores
Allowing you to mourn
Where do you go
When you need
To be free…
Look
Leap
Look before you leap
Leap before you look
Stop
Reach out
Reach in
Deep within
Let them in
Keep them out
Have a heart
Heart on your sleeve
A cold heart
A lonely heart
Safe unbroken heart
Love
Love and get hurt
Hurt before you get loved
No love, no hurt
Alone
There are so many of them.
Not schizophrenic,
Internal diversity.
Full of opinions,
Full of shit perhaps.
Sifting through
The baggage
The positive and negative
Words spoken
True or false
Compiling self,
Deleting self loathing
Building character
Finding a Voice
Speaking out loud…
BW©️
A cascade of tears
Flow down my face
My heart becomes
A cavern of empty dreams
There is no next chapter
Written from here
I must start over
Hone a new craft
That will become me
Hold my head high
And wear the crown
That carries hope
The mind
Past pulling me down
No escaping
No living in the now
Only dreams
No breath
No life
A mask for today
One for tomorrow
For you I’ll wear this
For him I’ll wear that
I’ll play the character
For each occasion
No one will know me
Not even myself
BW©️
I used to know you
As a boy
A boy and a girl
Who knew nothing
Of love
Yet in our hearts
We loved
I saw you
In my dream
The other night
Like dreams
Throughout the years
I would see you
In a crowded room
And I would not be able
To reach you
Last night
I found you
And held you
So tight
As if I knew
It would be
The last time
I would see you
We kissed
I felt it
Throughout my body
I felt you
Inside me
Loving me
We laid together
In loving embrace
And you looked
Deep into my eyes as
I woke.
BW©
Invading my dreams I question all In dreams occupied A chase ensues Needing to be near him To feel his arms Embrace me His lips Just one kiss A kiss never collected Past and present collide I cannot reach you Please leave my dreams Do not torture My fragile heart Evacuate my mind No longer disrupt my dreams I can no longer endure -BW ©
B.A. Wilcox © 