Tag: happiness

Poetry

Will I Ever

Have another first kiss

Hold hands with someone who makes my palms sweat

Know what it’s like

To not be alone

Will I ever

Watch the sunrise again

After a long night of talking

Know what it’s like

To be ok

Will I ever

Catch a snowflake with my eyelashes

Or feel one melt on my tongue

Know what it’s like

To be free

Poetry

‘96 Toyota Truck

Deep blue with the golden streak

Sitting in the front see

You driving me

Heading to the show

Or band practice 

At Roy’s house

Riding in the front

With our best friends in the back

Heading to Mexico for some fun

Laying in the bed of your Toyota

On Valentine’s Day

Wishing I deserved you

If years with you could be summed up

It would include that ‘96 Toyota

Poetry

Wish

I wish I could tell you

The truth versus the lies 

But lies make me seem

Better than what I really am

I am a mess

Something no one 

Is willing to take on

I like you so much

But I know soon you’ll be gone

When you know the truth

About who I am

My lies to cover up

That which I’m ashamed

You leave me behind

Like they always do

This much work

Too much for you

I understand

That I m not perfect

A mess you would have 

To live with

To deal with

Too much to respect

A liar I am

Not what I want to be

A liar I’ve been

I hate for others

To see

Poetry

Truth

Are you actually telling me the truth

Or is it another scam

Get me into bed

Exploit my insecurities

Take me

Where you want to go

I just want to talk

To get to know you

Are you pretending

Take advantage

I would let you

Even if you are

I’m alone 

Thou I want something

But truly something more

Can you be something

Something more 

Than a notch on the belt

Just be honest

What do you want

Just so I know 

Poetry

Sleeping Through Life

I sleep whenever I can

I dream vividly 

But it’s not real

I don’t care

I can sleep 

All of the time 

Just to be

In that reality 

It’s not perfect 

But it feels so good 

Better than this life

That’s not my own

I don’t even know 

Where I belong 

Where I should be

Where I can go 

I’m so lost 

I just want to be

In my dreams 

Where I fit 

Almost perfectly 

Poetry

45

Almost there

What does that mean

I’m not where I

Thought I’d be

I did not expect

A suicide attempt

One or more

Rehabilitation stays

Jobs upon jobs

Figuring out

Who I am

Who I’m supposed to be

Fired for the first time

In my many pursuits

Am I stopping myself

Am I in my own way?

I don’t feel okay

I don’t feel right

I don’t know what’s going on

I don’t know what mask to don

I act

I apply

I try so hard

I’m lost in myself

I’m wrong for the part

The position, the role

I try so hard

I’m still the black swan

I won’t give up

Figuring out

Who I am

Not put on a shelf

Like a book

Or a journal

With words

Or none

I will

Find out

Who I am

For once and for all

I will write

I will sing

I will be with myself

One on one

The heartbreak

The tears, and pain

Are all I am and

I will not fall

I will over come

I will pursue

I will love again

I will continue to hope

For more than I am

For more than I can be

For all that I want

For all that is to be

I want for more

I need to be

One who lives

One who can cope

To be

To be

To be

The truest me

BW’24

Poetry

Wings

Born consisting of pure love

Authentic to the core

As years advanced

Purity fading evermore

–

Saturated with sorrow

Yearning to die

No hope or joy

Pleading “why?”

–

Craving answers

A private war

Coveting a mental repose

Unexpectedly, an open door

–

Petition acknowledged

Hope illuminates the ashen sky

Recovery furnishes

The wings to fly