Tag: death
I am not a victim
Of my circumstances
I am a warrior
Losing a battle
Bleeding out
From my wounded soul
I am no martyr
I am merely one
Who will fight
To the death
Even if
It shall be my own
A rock & roll star
Playing your favorite songs
An actress on stage and screen
Molding myself into the characters you love
A teacher
Respected by her students
A doctor or nurse
Healing those around the world
A writer
Inspiring people with her words
A friend
Who was always there
A family member
Always thought about and cherished
Could I have been
Anyone other than who I’ve become
I’ve tried it all
And still feel like
No one people think about
As much as I think about them
Someone lost
In the darkest corners of my mind
Alone
Without any hope
For what the future holds
Wandering aimlessly for a purpose
Trying everything
I can grasp onto
And not succeeding
At any one thing
Losing myself to the void
That is life
Is that life?
The walls have caved in
I’m all alone
I’m on my own
The dust is thick
Hard to breathe
The weight is pushing me down
Every second I’m in this hole
What do I do
I know there’s no one coming
I can give up
Lie here
Until
My lungs
My organs
My bones
Are done
Trying to sustain me
Or can I fight
What is there to latch onto
Will the air become clear
Will I be able to move
Just an inch at a time
Do I fight
Do I give in
Is this the fate I have been designated
Or is there more
A light pulls me
Do I go
I go…
It is either
The light of the end
Or a new hope for tomorrow
It is an answer
Do we deserve
What we get
Awful people
Full of hate
Surrounded by family
And sycophants
Living fruitful lives
So many dream of
While those
With nothing
But open hearts
Are reaching out for
Nothing more
Than hope
Love
Support
Only to be held down
With no life jacket
To keep them from
Drowning
In this world
This life of
Chaos and turmoil
Of hate and intolerance
What else is to be done
Take one last breath
Let the current take us
If people could read this
If people could see me
With my defenses down
Would they see
I’m hurting
More than I show
On the outside
I smile
I laugh
But alone
I scream and cry
I’m locked
In an invisible cage
To which
No one has the key
Lost with no clear way out
No clear way but one
And even that is foggy
Nothing to fight for
Nothing to hold on to
I am dead weight
Stuck to the bottom
Can’t even find the air
Can’t find the surface
Can anyone pull me up
I can’t do it alone anymore
My arms are tired
My lungs stretched to the limits
Can some one please
Throw me a life line
I know it’s a lot to ask
But I promise
I’ll be better
I’ll do better
Just help me reach the top
I need some air
I need some ground
I can balance on
I’m tired of walking a tightrope
At the bottom of the sea
I have never felt so alone
I can talk to anyone
I can go out and be jovial
I want to be
A person
Who is asked to be there
To have a good time
But I also
Want to be one
Whose is wanted
Someone who is needed
To be at the clubs
At the bar
To have fun
Even when I am struggling
I need my people
People who know me
And to pull me out
Of my funk
to see that I am
Not ok
And yet want
To others to keep me as part of their lives
Knowing I can be fun
I can experience
and experience
The joy it is to
Be with my people
Please don’t shut me out
I can still be fun
I’ll talk about life
Or just play games
Don’t push me away
Because I am not perfect
I beg of you
To keep me in your heart
In your life
I don’t know if I can survive
Without you
Please accept me for who I an
As I will always accept you
I never knew how alone I was
Until I was alone
No text or calls
No one to reach out to
I will be ok
If I’m gone
They won’t notice
And that’s not on you
I don’t want you to feel sad
I want you to see me
As someone who was well
But wasn’t as well
I don’t want any mourning
Not over me
Just love for each other
That’s now it should be
Take care of one another
You are all you have
Don’t mourn for me
I’m ok where I am
I just can’t be
In this world anymore
Is it too much to ask
For someone to care
That you’re falling apart
How do you dare
You are the one
They always come to
But when your in need
Who do you look to
You struggle with life
You’re not as perfect as you put on
The mask you wear
Is now faded and long gone
So what do you do
To show them truth
Behind that mask
You are just you
B.A. Wilcox © 