Tag: addiction

Poetry

An Answer

The walls have caved in

I’m all alone

I’m on my own

The dust is thick

Hard to breathe 

The weight is pushing me down

Every second I’m in this hole

What do I do

I know there’s no one coming

I can give up

Lie here

Until

My lungs

My organs

My bones

Are done

Trying to sustain me

Or can I fight

What is there to latch onto 

Will the air become clear

Will I be able to move

Just an inch at a time

Do I fight 

Do I give in

Is this the fate I have been designated 

Or is there more

A light pulls me

Do I go

I go…

It is either

The light of the end

Or a new hope for tomorrow 

It is an answer

Poetry

How Do You 

Tell those who love you

Stop 

It’s not worth it anymore

And it’s ok

You are not their problem anymore

It’s ok to let go.

Please let go.

It’s hurts to tell them that

You are tired.

That you

Have no more strength. 

That you

Have no more fight left in you.

You know it hurts to hear

But as exhausted as they are 

You feel that 

Times 100.

They will move on

They are not weak.

Not like you are now.

Too many tears,

Too many sleepless nights,

Too much

Just too much.

The therapy,

The pills,

The hope that goes only so far.

It’s done.

You’re done. 

Poetry

Take me or Leave Me

Will they all leave

When they know

When they see 

I’m not all smiles

I’m not sunshine and rainbows 

I hurt

Deeper that most

I didn’t ask for this

I don’t want to be

This version of me

I’m ok

I’m not ok

This is my life

Who wants in

A lonely life

this will be

And though I hate it

I’m resolved to be

Who I am

Where I am

You and me

Or just me

Poetry

Will I

Ever have a normal life

Living with this thing

I never asked for

Ever be loved

With my faults

Not what’s in my core

Ever get to know 

What true love is like

With someone I adore

Get to live

A normal life 

Will you open the door

Please see who I am

Aside from my faults 

See who I am… one you can feel something for

Poetry

Alone

I never knew how alone I was

Until I was alone

No text or calls

No one to reach out to

I will be ok

If I’m gone

They won’t notice

And that’s not on you

I don’t want you to feel sad 

I want you to see me

As someone who was well

But wasn’t as well

I don’t want any mourning

Not over me

Just love for each other

That’s now it should be 

Take care of one another

You are all you have

Don’t mourn for me 

I’m ok where I am

I just can’t be

In this world anymore 

Poetry

That Place

I’m in that place again 

where no one knows how to deal

With my shit

To them isn’t real

I hurt inside

So I hurt myself outside

I don’t expect you to deal

With what I am going through

Something very real

I can’t explain why

I hurt myself so

Except that it feels right

When I am so low 

I think it helps

I think it’s the way

I will choose and 

Chase the pain away

But in the end

I only feel

A physical pain that is real

A pain that leads

To more pain as I heal

Embarrassed to show my wounds

But also asking others to feel

Something for me

To try and understand

That this is who I will be

I don’t want it to be who I am

But it is what it is

I am me and you are you

I hurt myself

And you keep to you

Poetry

Do you feel like 

You are treading water 

Don’t give up

Fight through the pain 

The exhaustion 

Take a deep breath 

Sink if you need

Feel the womb of the ocean 

Comfort you

It’s ok to go under

For a second

Hold your breath

Feel the water envelop you

Then…

Kick those legs

Pull yourself up

Come up for air

Take that breath 

Fight the fatigue

Remember hope

Remember love

Remember life 

I know your tired

It would be so easy

To let go

Sink

Remember home

Remember love

Remember loss

All the things that made you strong

It’s ok to go under

For a second

Hold your breath

Feel the water envelop you

Then…

Kick those legs

Pull yourself up

Come up for air

Take that breath 

Fight the fatigue

Remember hope

Remember love

Remember life

A rescue boat

May never come

You’re on your own 

And that’s okay 

You may feel

Unprepared for what’s ahead

Afraid of the unknown 

Afraid of drowning 

The anchor 

Feels heavy

Around you

Pulling you down 

It’s ok to go under

For a second

Hold your breath

Feel the water envelop you

Then…

Kick those legs

Pull yourself up

Come up for air

Take that breath 

Fight the fatigue

Remember hope

Remember love

Remember life

Fight the current

You can push through 

It’s only water 

It’s only life

It’s painful

But it’s also hope

It’s love

It’s worth it

It’s ok to go under

As long as you 

Kick those legs

Pull yourself up

Come up for air

Take that breath 

Fight the fatigue

Remember hope

Remember love

Remember life

And Breathe