I am a writer. Therefore, I am not sane. -Edgar Allan Poe
When did your heart let me go
What was the last straw
When did I stop being yours
Was it when I stopped being me
When did you decide to leave
Was I already gone
When will you come back
I’m back to me again
When will you be coming back
Will you be coming back
Demons in my head
Get louder everyday
Only so many pills
Can be taken
To drown them out
But there’s always an echo
Of the demons in my head
Will they ever go away
Add therapy to the pills
To drown them out
But there’s always an echo
Of the demons in my head
Always an echo
Always an echo
Always an echo
Of the demons in my head
At first sight
I have been convicted
Of lacking beauty
Imprisoned to the
Corner of the room
Bled of all confidence
Seeking a reprieve
Just this once
To plead my case
Reveal the whole
Truth of my existence
The beauty
Behind these bars
A deliberate target
The monsters charm
Reeled me in
I deserted all
Contradicting instincts
The object of my desire
Dominates my every thought
Every action
Feeds him
Unknowingly, I had become
But a play thing
A soon to be
Discarded object
Escaping one’s demons
Is far easier
With the strength of many
Who can create
A chain link of love
A ladder of compassion
And a compass of hope
I am not a victim
Of my circumstances
I am a warrior
Losing a battle
Bleeding out
From my wounded soul
I am no martyr
I am merely one
Who will fight
To the death
Even if
It shall be my own
Two voices
One body
Battling for control
One to live
The other to die
In the arena of the mind
Two voices will enter
Only one will survive
A rock & roll star
Playing your favorite songs
An actress on stage and screen
Molding myself into the characters you love
A teacher
Respected by her students
A doctor or nurse
Healing those around the world
A writer
Inspiring people with her words
A friend
Who was always there
A family member
Always thought about and cherished
Could I have been
Anyone other than who I’ve become
I’ve tried it all
And still feel like
No one people think about
As much as I think about them
Someone lost
In the darkest corners of my mind
Alone
Without any hope
For what the future holds
Wandering aimlessly for a purpose
Trying everything
I can grasp onto
And not succeeding
At any one thing
Losing myself to the void
That is life
Is that life?
The walls have caved in
I’m all alone
I’m on my own
The dust is thick
Hard to breathe
The weight is pushing me down
Every second I’m in this hole
What do I do
I know there’s no one coming
I can give up
Lie here
Until
My lungs
My organs
My bones
Are done
Trying to sustain me
Or can I fight
What is there to latch onto
Will the air become clear
Will I be able to move
Just an inch at a time
Do I fight
Do I give in
Is this the fate I have been designated
Or is there more
A light pulls me
Do I go
I go…
It is either
The light of the end
Or a new hope for tomorrow
It is an answer
B.A. Wilcox © 